there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
