ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
