who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
