we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
i think i just lost a toe
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
