I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
How's work?
Spinning.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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