dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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