S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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