Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize