thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
