He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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