well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
