What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
