oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
