Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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