You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
whose parrot is this?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
