am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
