just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
