it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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