this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I wish I only lived at night.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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