What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Did you pee in the oven last night??
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
