That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
