moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
