His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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