I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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