Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
