I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize