why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
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