mondays should just be called national damage control day
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
