I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
