Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
