i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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