Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
