hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
birth control should be required to get into college
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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