If i come over, it means nothing
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
