I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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