Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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