Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
