Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
