but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
