we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
