Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize