you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Randomize
