I wish life had little blips of pornography
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
