And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
