Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
