i just wanna soil my oats bro
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
