Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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