we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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