Me too!
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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