you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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