I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
