I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Randomize
