I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
