my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
