My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
