I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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