Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
