I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
