dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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