If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize