If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
ugly people sure do ruin things
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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