I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
