I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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