She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
